“The Primevals” is the closest a monster kid will come to experiencing a “new” Full Moon film that feels like the imaginative oddities from the company’s heyday.

With a free-rolling camera and provocative score full of unholy operatic shrieks, the film snatches its haunting style right out of the 1970s.

Perhaps the only thing capable of eliciting a louder “uh oh” is discovering Netflix passed on a project already in their pipeline, which is what happened here.

The movie is less about a haunted film set and more of a character study exploring a shattered psyche trying to be pieced back together.

“In a Violent Nature” features quite a lot of Johnny just walking around. When I say, “a lot,” I mean a lot. No seriously, it’s a lot.

Anyone willing to lay down a back-breaking bag of disbelief may find the mood and the mystery captivating enough to hold an audience’s attention.

The real mystery of “Blackwater Lane” is how it ended up independently produced when it fulfills all the common criteria for a filler film Netflix likes to overpay for.

Jane Badler plays Mona like a weird mix of Queen Elizabeth and Elizabeth Taylor draped in an absurdly comical number of costume pearl strings.

“The Strangers: Chapter 1” can’t stand on its own two feet since at least one more movie is necessary to make any sense out of this film’s first act.

Good luck to the guy who sued the movie for plagiarism. It should be a class-action lawsuit since any number of copycat clunkers can claim they were ripped off.

Other pieces combine for a sci-fi spectacle that is halfway decent as a live-action comic book, or as a VFX demo reel if you want to be cynical about it.

“Tarot” makes one wonder, what’s the real difference between a soulless film created by AI and a soulless film created by actual people?

“Breathe” illustrates what the end of the world might look like if the apocalypse had a budget that couldn’t afford more than three items on a fast-food value menu.

Inconsistent in its varying intentions to deliver allegory as well as entertainment, “Humane” nevertheless averages out to be an engaging exercise in post-apocalyptic theater.

I’ll gladly wolf down the cavity-causing junk food “Godzilla x Kong” entertainingly sloshes out with its ludicrously conceived ladle.

“Sting” delivers spider-centric chills like Joe Dante does horror, except with more entertainment-minded wickedness than family-friendly whimsy.

How someone who sees this in a theater or without a notepad can keep everyone and their relationships straight, I have no idea.

If you want to see impossible amounts of blood explode crimson colors like the world’s worst version of a gender reveal, well, “Abigail” at least has that.

The hook of Nic Cage in a Walking Dead wasteland is just a lure to pin people into a stripped-down drama about two brothers reconciling their differences.