TAROT (2024)

Studio:   Screen Gems
Director: Spenser Cohen, Anna Halberg
Writer:   Spenser Cohen, Anna Halberg
Producer: Leslie Morgenstein, Elysa Koplovitz Dutton, Scott Glassgold
Stars:    Harriet Slater, Adain Bradley, Avantika, Wolfgang Novogratz, Humberly Gonzalez, Larsen Thompson, Olwen Fouere, Jacob Batalon

Review Score:

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Summary:

After having their fortunes told with a cursed deck of tarot cards, seven friends fight against fate as they face frightening supernatural figures tied to their readings.

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Synopsis:     Show/Hide Spoilers

Astrology novice Haley, her ex-boyfriend Grant, their friend Elise Murphy, Elise's girlfriend Paige, and their other friends Paxton, Madeline, and Lucas rent a remote house in the Catskills to celebrate Elise's birthday. Looking for alcohol, the seven friends break into a locked basement where they find numerous occult artifacts, including an antique set of hand-painted tarot cards inside a distinct wooden box.

Despite Haley's warning that there is an unspoken rule against using someone else's tarot deck, Haley does detailed horoscope readings where each person draws a specific final card. Elise draws The High Priestess. Madeline draws The Hanged Man. Paige draws The Magician. Paxton draws The Fool. Lucas draws The Hermit. Grant draws The Devil. Finally, Haley does a reading for herself that ends with drawing the Death card.

Once the weekend concludes, everyone returns to their college campus. While alone in her dorm, Elise investigates noises in an attic where she ends up killed by a supernatural High Priestess who beats Elise to death with a sliding ladder. Later, Lucas encounters frightening paranormal activity before being led to his death in a subway by The Hermit.

Detectives Hanson and Wells briefly question the five remaining friends, but the police conclude foul play is not involved in the unusual deaths. Eventually, Haley realizes there are striking similarities between the deaths and the details from the tarot readings, leading everyone but Grant to believe something supernatural is involved.

Internet research leads the group to several related articles written by astrology expert Alma Astrom. The five friends subsequently drive to visit Alma in person. Upon hearing what happened as well as a description of the unique tarot cards, Alma identifies the distinct deck as having been linked to other mysterious deaths throughout the years. Alma even reveals she did the readings for an incident in London, but she was spared because she never did a reading for herself. Ever since, Alma has been searching for the deck so she can destroy it.

Alma explains that in Hungary in 1798, a wealthy count had an Astrologer do a reading for his pregnant wife. After repeated readings correctly predicted that the countess and her son would die during childbirth, the count accused the Astrologer of witchcraft and had her daughter murdered. Using a dark ritual, the Astrologer killed herself and had her soul bound to the cards to create a death curse as revenge. The count and his associates soon died horrible deaths. Alma advises that the deck will have to be destroyed to potentially stop the curse.

On the friends' drive home, their car suddenly loses power on a bridge, similar to what was foretold in Madeline's tarot reading. The Hanged Man attacks the vehicle. Madeline flees, but The Hanged Man captures her with his noose and hangs her.

Haley, Grant, and Paige agree to go back to the rental house for the tarot deck, but Paxton insists on hiding out alone. Back at his dorm, The Fool haunts Paxton and traps him in an elevator.

Haley, Grant, and Paige retrieve the cards at the house, but the cards don't burn when they're thrown into a fire. Alma joins the three friends to conduct a ritual intended to separate the Astrologer's dark spirit from the cards, but the Astrologer supernaturally kills Alma. Paige also undergoes a haunting experience before being sawed apart by The Magician in front of an audience of ghosts.

Haley deduces she can turn the curse against the Astrologer by doing a reading for her tortured spirit. The Devil suddenly pulls Grant away. Haley flees with Death pursuing her, but Grant recovers in time to rescue her. While Grant resumes his battle against The Devil's forces, Haley scrambles to do a tarot reading for the Astrologer.

Pulling Death as the final card in the reading, Haley implores the Astrologer to finally allow her pain to be healed. Amid a flurry of paranormal activity, the Astrologer dissipates, and the cards combust into flames.

Haley and Grant leave the house. Having been rescued from the elevator by his roommate, Paxton arrives to pick them up.

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Review:

Hollywood faces mounting concerns regarding how ongoing advancements in artificial intelligence threaten to disrupt the film industry. ChatGPT was just the start for software that screenwriters fear could ultimately make them unnecessary. Performers worry deepfake-level technology can recreate their voices and likenesses without compensation for the original actor. Audiences are also troubled that such shifts might mean future movies will only become more generic, since they'll theoretically be dominated by AI input.

The ironic reality though, is Hollywood has been churning out data-driven dreck for decades now, it just hasn't been generated by computers. Studios select pedestrian projects according to (mis)perceived trends and holes that need plugging on their release calendars. Streaming services create uncomplicated content according to what algorithms claim their viewers will consume. Movies are regularly retooled based on focus group feedback from a few families who happened to attend a free early screening somewhere in middle America. So "Tarot," a movie purportedly made by human beings, is merely one more example of this current by-the-book blandness that makes one wonder, what's the real difference between a soulless film created by AI and a soulless film created by actual people?

"Tarot" starts like countless other routine creepers do, with friends casually partying around a campfire. You can tell them apart because they're an ethnically diverse group of three males and four females, all of whom come with signature faces and hair colors. Unexpectedly, they don't have the stereotypical personalities of aggressive jock, brainy bookworm, Instagram-obsessed bitch, etc. Six of them are simply indescribable while one of them plays the comic relief clown. If anyone still has an issue with figuring out who's who, their conversation in this first scene makes a point to mention everyone's name at least once, just like how regular people talk all the time.

For college kids, they seem incredibly well off. No Natty Light and ramen noodles here. Somehow, they have the money to rent a gated, massive mansion in New York's Catskills to celebrate their friend Elise's birthday. They also have no care for other people's property, because when they run out of booze, they break into a locked basement, ready to take whatever they want.

They don't find beer, although they do find a hand-painted deck of tarot cards in an ornate wooden box among a suspicious collection of occult artifacts. Common sense says everything should be left alone for numerous reasons, except this is a horror movie, so of course they have to unknowingly unleash a domino death curse.

Conveniently, Haley happens to have a background in horoscopes and astrology. She proceeds to give everyone, including herself, an impeccably detailed tarot reading, all of which end with each person drawing a distinct final card that corresponds to the ghoulish figure who will later haunt that person.

The group returns to campus where nothing is amiss yet. Well, unless you find it strange that Elise's dorm includes an accessible attic, but apparently doesn't include any other students living in her building. However, she's not alone when it comes to dying a gruesome death. Soon after Elise's demise, one of the men gets slaughtered in a subway that is also conspicuously empty, especially for a New York train station.

The five remaining friends aren't all that devastated by two of their own meeting sudden, horrible ends. Not even Elise's girlfriend. Grief gets restricted to one or two scenes of minimal tears from two of them, then it's immediately back to basic business as though nothing out of the ordinary happened.

"Tarot" sticks in a weird scene here where they're briefly questioned by two detectives, which only serves to address a "why don't they go to the cops?" question no one in the audience cares about being answered anyway. Hilariously, the police conclude "no foul play" was involved, which is awful investigating considering Elise was violently beaten by her dorm attic's sliding ladder four times. I'm sure many blunt force trauma deaths are commonly ruled accidents when a victim gets hit multiple times by the same object, no?

Haley and the others eventually realize something supernatural is responsible, and it must be connected to that obviously evil tarot deck. Since the authorities are no help, where else can a horror character turn for information? Internet research time! Haley literally types in one word, "horoscope," and wouldn't you know it, all four articles shown as the top search results were written by the same person, who, also wouldn't you know it, happens to live nearby.

At the end of their quick road trip, the group gets treated to all the backstory they need about the cursed cards thanks to Old Lady Exposition, who in this instance goes by the name Alma. Flashbacks fill in the blanks about how an astrologer accused of witchcraft bound her soul to the deck as revenge. Now the five friends still standing have to continue enduring another series of standard spooks, then satisfy the restless spirit, "before it's too late." For the viewer, it already is too late by now.

I could go on, but why beat a second dead horse when "Tarot" has already beaten one? On an aesthetic level, the film honestly looks sharp. The average cast is conventionally attractive. The camera, sound, and design departments are clearly staffed by experienced professionals who definitely know what they're doing. It's just that this tired template for "sleepover scary movie" has been so, so played out at this point. Between "Ouija" (review here), "The Bye Bye Man" (review here), and every other "teens/twentysomethings inadvertently inviting otherworldly evil" flick whose titles escape me because my memory refuses to participate in their recollection, every predictable beat in "Tarot" is something seen before. The movie doesn't have an original fleck of skin, never mind a full bone, in its entire uninspired body.

Banish "Tarot" to Netflix like every other routine thriller justly sentenced to a digital death. Maybe their algorithm can find ways to force it onto undemanding fright fans who don't care what's in their queues, before the streamer's AI cuts out the middleman, and pivots to putting together its own similarly subpar spookshows.

Review Score: 40

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