There’s nothing “wrong” with anything “The Cellar” does. It’s a matter of literally all of it having been done before, and done to death at that.

“Deadstream” becomes enormously entertaining as a funny, frightful, and devilishly delightful indie diamond, a rare find in a massive DTV mine mostly loaded with cheerless coal.

All I can really do is to write a basic review that boringly goes by the book without getting creative because “Barbarians” won’t allow anything more.

The tight push-pull between what “Night’s End” wants to do and what it can conceivably accomplish leaves it looking like an elongated episode of “Tales from the Darkside.”

There’s that pesky term again. I could have simply left it at “slow-burn Irish spooker” since that undoubtedly told you everything you needed to know.

Think of “Studio 666” as a silly, splattery satire of the Beatles documentary “Get Back,” except with satanic slaughter wreaking havoc on the band’s ridiculous recording sessions.

I take issue with the slew of fake IMDb user reviews that tout “6:45” as the best thing to happen to cinema since the Lumiere brothers created their camera.

Different people are going to get different things out of “Master” depending on what they expect and what they’re willing to take away.

“The Bunker Game” takes a turn into a milquetoast paranormal mystery where everything that’s ripe for originality instantaneously shrivels and dies on the vine.

It’s difficult to not wish “Fullmetal Alchemist” had cracked at the screenplay another time or two to find the solidly enjoyable 90-minute movie inside its two hour and 14 minute frame.

Suffice it to say, “The Seed” only stands out as a fizzling filler film on the wrong side of the median line for Shudder’s usual streaming screamer standard.

Director Mimi Cave takes viewers on a riveting roller coaster ride through horror, humor, sweetness, and slashing while holding steady on a uniquely appealing tone.

Of all the big fright franchises doing these “requels,” “Scream” weaves what’s new with what came before more seamlessly and more satisfyingly than anyone else.

If you’re fine with Naomi Watts jogging and talking in front trees, trees, and more trees, “The Desperate Hour” has more footage of her looking worried than limited patience can handle.

It’s always a plus to spend time with Dennis Haysbert and Dale Dickey, and since it doesn’t demand full engagement, you also get to play on your phone without pressing Pause.

If “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” is the boisterous bad kid barking from the back of the classroom, then “The Cursed” is a boarding school preppy who plays first chair violin.

I’ll probably start by forgetting everything about “Incarnation,” which shouldn’t take long since it has nothing worth remembering in the first place.

What more can anyone ask from a flagging film series that hasn’t been on firm footing in forever than to celebrate the savage spirit it’s most known for?

The movie’s maudlin characters do indeed live in the grey. And that grey they live in is a shade so dark, it might as well be pitch black.

Your mind will have to make do with a mildly moody little spooker with vaguely psychedelic vibes and a dreamy texture that’s deeply entrenched in an indie aesthetic.