SELFIE FROM HELL (2018)

Studio:     Lionsgate
Director:    Erdal Ceylan
Writer:     Erdal Ceylan, Paul Burton
Producer:  Paul Burton
Stars:     Alyson Walker, Tony Giroux, Meelah Adams, Ian Butcher, Tyler Smith, Shaun Morse, Matthew Graham, Stephanie Gooden

Review Score:

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Summary:

A curious woman becomes the victim of a viral curse caused by dark web selfies connected to a supernatural serial killer.

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Synopsis:     Show/Hide Spoilers

Hannah welcomes her cousin, social media star Julia Lang, for a visit. Julia skittishly mentions that her boyfriend Mark was unable to join her.

Hannah notices Julia behaving oddly after refusing to take a selfie of the two of them together. Hannah also observes Julia researching the URL 7h3blackr00m.onion.

While taking a selfie inside Hannah’s house after experiencing strange visions, Julia is attacked by a supernatural entity referred to as ‘Selfieman.’ Julia falls unconscious. Making a house call, Dr. Jonas claims Julia will require several days in bed to recover.

Despite Julia being bedridden, Hannah begins receiving strange texts and messages from Julia’s phone. Curious as to what may be happening, Hannah tries investigating the online black room only to find it is an inaccessible site on the dark web. Hannah becomes spooked by strange noises heard inside her house.

Hannah watches Julia’s YouTube video “Selfie from Hell – Part 1,” which chronicles Julia’s research on an internet urban legend. While searching for the second part of the video, Hannah finds online stories claiming Julia is actually dead.

Hannah consults her techie friend Trevor. Hannah tells Trevor about the seemingly supernatural experiences she believes are related to Julia’s dark web research. Trevor gives Hannah a link to an IRC chat room where she may be able to learn more.

Able to access the dark web with Trevor’s link, Hannah makes contact with a man identified as F34R3473R. Hannah asks about the black room. F34R3473R sends Hannah a link to a site where she watches a series of 13 disturbing selfies. Afterwards, Hannah’s computer screen simulates cracking and she feels an intangible presence in the room. F34R3473R then calls Hannah to issue a cryptic threat.

Hannah tries calling Julia’s boyfriend Mark. Hannah discovers Mark died.

Hannah asks Trevor to hack into Julia’s laptop. Trevor explains that a black room is a place on the dark web where people can participate in violent criminal acts normally only observed in red rooms. Hannah admits that she already met someone associated with the black room and visited the website.

Trevor finally finds the second part of Julia’s “Selfie from Hell” video. In it, Julia recounts how her investigation into the story led her to the black room and F34R3473R. Julia warns that no one should watch the 13 selfies as something evil will set its sights on the viewer like it did her and Mark. Julia ends her video by mentioning that she has no choice but to turn to the deceitful F34R3473R to help end the curse and save Mark.

Julia stops breathing during the night after Hannah experiences another supernatural vision. Hannah and Trevor rush Julia to the ER. Hannah and Trevor learn that Julia’s organs are failing and doctors are unable to determine why.

Concerned over his involvement, Hannah implores Trevor to leave her alone. Trevor intimates that he has romantic feelings for Hannah before leaving.

While Hannah sees visions of a shadowy figure, F34R3473R breaks into Hannah’s house and kidnaps her. F34R3473R explains that he was incapable of feeling fear until he dug into the ‘Selfie from Hell’ story. Although wary of viewing the 13 selfies himself, F34R3473R uncovered the black room and began deriving pleasure from watching others summon the Selfieman only to be terrified and murdered. F34R3473R warns that the supernatural Selfieman pulls people to the other side for torture after victims who have seen the images subsequently take 13 selfies themselves. F34R3473R begins taking selfies of Hannah so that he can watch Selfieman come for her.

Before F34R3473R can take the thirteenth picture, Trevor suddenly arrives to incapacitate him. F34R3473R ends up handcuffed inside his basement lair.

Trevor uses F34R3473R’s laptop to trace the origin of the black room’s remote access signal. Before leaving together, Trevor explains to Hannah that he learned where she was by going to the black room and watching the 13 selfies.

At the location of the black room’s signal, Hannah finds a photo album and video camera. Video footage recorded by Dr. Edwards documents his 13th session with a serial killer whom authorities were unable to identify. The killer, whose face is obscured by digital interference, murders the doctor and becomes Selfieman.

Hannah and Trevor find the killer’s dead body when it falls from the ceiling hanging from a noose. Selfieman’s specter attacks Hannah, who falls unconscious. Trevor takes selfies in order to see where Selfieman is. Hannah regains consciousness and also takes a selfie, her thirteenth, to locate Selfieman.

The killer’s body reanimates to supernaturally strangle both Trevor and Hannah. His attack ends when he is seemingly strangled to death by his noose.

Hannah recovers in a tranquil field with Julia. Trevor joins them. As Hannah and Trevor kiss, Trevor transforms into Selfieman. It is revealed that Hannah and Trevor actually died in the room with Selfieman’s body and had been pulled to the other side by his supernatural evil.

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Review:

I intended to open this review with a mini-missive lamenting the slew of supernatural social media movies featuring similar setups centered on viral computer curses. It occurs to me I probably don’t need to preach to a commiserating choir equally burnt on the oft-copied concept after seeing it repeatedly applied in “Smiley,” “Unfriended” (review here), “Friend Request” (review here), etc., etc.

Instead, I’ll murder a second introductory bird with that apophasis stone by suggesting horror might also wish to consider a momentary chill on the trend of turning popular shorts into feature films whether the metamorphosis is warranted or not. Because if a recycled premise isn’t evidence enough that “Selfie from Hell” runs on a fast emptied tank of gas, its struggle to stretch two minutes into 70 certainly is.

“Selfie from Hell” began life in 2015 as a 90-second short from German filmmakers Erdal Ceylan and Meelah Adams. A cynic might claim it actually began life two years earlier as David F. Sandberg’s 2013 “Lights Out” short. The two quickies parallel each other so closely, a plagiarism accusation wouldn’t be entirely without merit. Where “Lights Out” had Lotta Losten fearfully watching a shadowy shape come closer with each flick of a light switch, “Selfie from Hell” had Meelah Adams seeing the same with each click of her cellphone’s camera, culminating in a predictable jolt at the end.

Don’t tax too much thought mulling over how one single scare could develop into a full-length story. “Selfie from Hell’s” script certainly didn’t. It simply strings scenes together with little regard for reasons why its details should add up.

Hannah expected her German cousin, YouTube “star” Julia Lang, to arrive yesterday with her boyfriend Mark. When she finally does show up, Mark isn’t at her side and Julia is suspiciously skittish about whatever has her on edge.

We find out later that investigating an online urban legend left Julia cursed by a supernatural “Selfieman” (that’s actually its credited name). The hitch here is that Selfieman can only be seen when someone takes a selfie, but after taking 13, Selfieman comes to take the victim to “the other side” to be tortured. Julia knows this, feels frightened by an unseen presence in Hannah’s home, yet still pauses her secretive sobbing to smile prettily for a completely unnecessary personal picture. Selfieman attacks and Julia falls unconscious.

A rational person wouldn’t take further selfies in the first place. A rational person would also call an ambulance immediately upon finding a houseguest unresponsive on the bedroom floor. Hannah just summons a doctor who makes a quick house call, and he doesn’t appear overly concerned about Julia’s inexplicable coma of catatonia. Following a cursory exam with nothing more than a stethoscope, because no other instruments are necessary when practicing movie medicine, doc prescribes bed rest and bids adieu.

Hannah begins connecting Julia’s dots, which lead down a rabbit hole linked to a hidden website. She also meets a mysterious man who gives Selfieman a run for his money in the dumb name department by using the handle “F34R3473R” (or “FearEater” for those who don’t want to stare for three minutes trying to translate it into English). Hannah can’t navigate the dark web alone however. Luckily, the only other character in the movie is Hannah’s techie friend Trevor. Trevor harbors a crush on Hannah too, enabling a routine romance subplot without the inconvenience of having to add another actor.

In addition to supernatural sights and sounds haunting her home, Hannah becomes additionally alarmed when online research turns up multiple obituaries for Julia. How can that be when Julia is in a bed upstairs? Trevor and a doctor have even independently seen her with their own eyes. Again, a normal person would dig deeper into stories of Julia’s reported death. Hannah merely takes a moment to muse, “well that’s weird” and moves on.

Julia’s dual citizenship in reality and the afterlife makes no more or less sense than the curse itself. “Selfie from Hell” settles on 13 as an ominous number and invents some hullabaloo that if you watch a series of 13 strange selfies in a dark web “black room,” you’re cursed, although not fully until you take 13 selfies of your own. Or something. A ninth inning reveal about an unidentified serial killer piles on one more bit of backstory without actually explaining anything. It comes via a video from 2006 in which the first thing referenced is an event that occurred in 2007, so let’s mark this as Exhibit Z in “Selfie from Hell’s” losing case of not thinking things through.

Nothing makes “Selfie from Hell” a more exhausting experience than its criminally redundant overreliance on absolutely egregious jump scares. I legitimately cannot fathom how any filmmaker can sit in an edit bay, amp an ear-aching audio cue to yet another jump cut, and still think, “Yep, we’re doing solid work here” after the 45th empty A/V shock. Coming as no surprise given its skeletal origin, “Selfie from Hell” is a one-trick pony whose poor horse is flogged to death mercilessly before ever leaving its stable.

Lifetime MOWs about Craigslist killers and other digital dangers at least include cautions concerning online threats. What’s the moral message motivating “Selfie from Hell?” That poking noses into the dark web and taking too many pictures are, uh, bad things to do? Here’s a more meaningful warning: don’t try forcing a film from an incomplete idea, particularly without the brains, brawn, or budget to back it up.

Review Score: 30

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