CARVED (2024)

Studio:   Hulu
Director: Justin Harding
Writer:   Justin Harding, Cheryl Meyer
Producer: David Worthen Brooks, Debbie Liebling, Arbi Pedrossian, Jenna Cavelle
Stars:    Peyton Elizabeth Lee, Corey Fogelmanis, Carla Jimenez, Elvis Nolasco, Jonah Lees, Wyatt Lindner, Sasha Mason, Marc-Sully Saint-Fleur, Jackson Kelly, DJ Qualls, Chris Elliott

Review Score:

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Summary:

On Halloween Night in 1993, a sentient pumpkin goes on a vengeful killing spree against contestants in a jack-o-lantern carving contest.

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Synopsis:     Show/Hide Spoilers

On Halloween Night in 1993, UP24 reporter AJ Campbell interviews general manager Bill and groundskeeper Kevin of Maine's Cedar Creek Pioneer Village, a park and living history museum similar to Colonial Williamsburg. Bill abruptly ends the interview when he learns AJ doesn't want to discuss the current Pumpkin Fest, but instead wishes to press Bill about a deadly train derailment and chemical spill that wreaked havoc on the area.

Meanwhile, aspiring writer/director Kira and her friend Barb manage the Pumpkin Fest's play starring Kira's actor boyfriend Cody, self-centered Shane, and Maddie, a young actress whom Kira's little brother Trevor has a crush on. Orphaned when their parents were killed in the train wreck, Kira and Trevor are both heartbroken to later learn Cody, who Trevor regards like a big brother, is leaving for a show in New York, but he didn't tell either of them.

Earl of Craven Hill Farm fixes his mobile Corn Wagon van for the Pumpkin Fest. While waiting on the repairs, Earl's driver Clint finds a strange pumpkin in a nearby patch that he cuts free and loads into the van. Upon arriving at Cedar Creek, fellow stoner Wes asks Clint if he can use the unusual pumpkin for the upcoming carving contest, to which Clint agrees.

During the carving contest, the pumpkin suddenly sprouts deadly tentacles. Revealed to be sentient, the pumpkin kills Wes. The park erupts in panic as the pumpkin continues slaughtering multiple contest participants and fleeing patrons.

Severely injured in the violent attack, Kevin retreats to safety while Kira, Cody, Barb, Trevor, Shane, Maddie, and Bill hide out in a barn with scatterbrained military veteran Arthur. Maddie theorizes the pumpkin was likely mutated from the chemical spill. As everyone argues about what to do next, the pumpkin kills Arthur. It then kills AJ by beheading the reporter and throwing his body into a transformer, cutting the park's power.

From his separate hiding spot, Kevin uses a walkie-talkie to distract the pumpkin so everyone else can escape the barn. Because they are secretly in a romantic relationship, Bill rushes to check on Kevin. The pumpkin kills Kevin and Bill.

The pumpkin kills Shane while Kira, Cody, Barb, Trevor, and Maddie hide in another barn. The survivors agree on a plan to run to the Corn Wagon to escape the park. Kira, Cody, Barb, and Trevor make it to the van, but the pumpkin ensnares Maddie.

Kira, Cody, Barb, and Trevor find Clint sleeping in the back of the Corn Wagon. As they hurriedly drive away, Barb watches footage AJ shot of the carving contest and notices the pumpkin is attacking everyone who carved a pumpkin. To her horror, Kira remembers her little brother Trevor was one of the participants.

Unaware of what's going on because he got high, Clint insists on driving as the pumpkin catches up to the van. Clint ends up crashing. The crash kills Barb. Recognizing him as the person who originally cut it out of the patch, the pumpkin decapitates Clint and adds his carved-out head to a jack o'lantern display.

Kira, Cody, and Trevor reconcile over Cody's plan to leave for New York after they escape the pumpkin once more. Kira comes across Earl when she goes for help. The pumpkin kills Earl.

Cody and Trevor regroup with Kira in a patch where they find more sentient pumpkins growing. The original pumpkin uses a tentacle to grab Trevor's throat. Kira gets the pumpkin to release her brother by threatening to stab one of the pumpkin's smaller offspring. Kira and Cody ultimately team up to take out the main pumpkin by pulping it in a thresher.

As dawn breaks, Trevor goes into the field to begin crushing the smaller pumpkins. One of those pumpkins ensnares Trevor with a tentacle. Having used pesticide to escape her earlier attack, Maddie resurfaces in time to rescue the boy. Cody, Maddie, and Trevor gather the smaller pumpkins, which Kira then runs over and destroys with a mower.

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Review:

Hulu's official synopsis for "Carved" reads like this: "When a heartbroken teenage playwright, her younger brother, and a disparate group of survivors become trapped in a historical reenactment village on Halloween night, they must band together to survive a relentless assault by a sentient and vengeful pumpkin." The copywriter really should have found a way to lead with those last four words instead of ending on them. You can practically picture a horror fan version of Jerry Maguire salivating while saying, "You had me at 'sentient and vengeful pumpkin,'" and not needing any more incentive than that to want to watch what sounds like a madcap midnight movie.

Some time has passed since a deadly train derailment created a chemical spill in Cedar Creek, Maine. Pioneer Village, a sort of Poor Man's Colonial Williamsburg, has been trying to get out from under that catastrophe by focusing on its Pumpkin Fest, whose events include a carving contest, a mobile corn wagon with buttered cobs served by two costumed stoners, and a play put on by an eclectic bunch of theater kids. On their own since their parents died in the train crash, the play's director Kira and her little brother Trevor deal with some drama when they discover her actor boyfriend Cody, who Trevor looks up to like a brother, plans to leave them behind for the brighter lights of New York City. Meanwhile, the park's general manager has his hands full with an investigative reporter determined to dredge up some dirt regarding the dangerous chemical cleanup.

Most of this backstory ends up irrelevant, used mainly for motivations and to establish relationships. How much background does anyone even want for a setup where the main draw is a killer pumpkin slaughtering its way through panicking park patrons anyway? At the 22-minute mark, "Carved" immediately cuts off exposition by spontaneously cutting up one of the characters, who makes the mistake of trying to thrust a knife into a mutant gourd for the carving contest. This pumpkin isn't about to become a jack o'lantern without using its whip-like tentacles to put up a violent fight. Chaos predictably ensues. Less predictably, comedy does not.

Any viewer would be well within their rights to believe a humorous Halloween movie taking place in a weirdo historical hamlet and featuring the quirky kookiness of Chris Elliott, DJ Qualls, and Matty Cardarople (you know his face even if you don't know his name) might be bustling with good gags and good fun. Then they'd likely be disappointed to discover few and far between jokes are too tame to win enthusiastic laughs, and action ends up so subdued that most of the midsection consists of little more than people repeatedly running and hiding from a monstrous menace that's criminally underseen.

Each actor appears dialed in to a different frequency for funniness. Director Justin Harding doesn't do anything to dissuade veteran comic Chris Elliott, who only appears in two brief scenes, from playing his part like a Gold Rush miner, complete with a marble-mouthed drawl to make him sound like he's the only person in a "Saturday Night Live" sketch. Others opt for far less sodium in their thin slices of ham. "Carved" all but begs for a bizarreness level that would ideally call on everyone to go over the top with their caricatures, yet most of them meld together into an indistinguishable collection of regular men, women, and children ready-made for simple stereotyping amid a standard scary movie structure.

"Carved" has a creative concept. What the movie does not have is a punchy, popping personality to match its peculiar premise. It would be bad faith to say a movie designed to be inherently dopey is indeed dopey. But by walking a mediocre midline that's safe for average audiences in search of a light lark, "Carved" becomes a missed opportunity to have either gone hog wild with howlingly hilarious horror, or to have attempted a totally serious take where actors played everything straight in spite of a pumpkin puppet doing Freddy Krueger duties on the deaths. "Carved" ends up feeling closer to a kid-friendly movie meant for Nickelodeon or Disney, except I don't believe that was anyone's intention, and I think even a younger crowd hankering for gateway horror would reach for the remote before end credits roll.

Review Score: 50

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