How someone who sees this in a theater or without a notepad can keep everyone and their relationships straight, I have no idea.

If you want to see impossible amounts of blood explode crimson colors like the world’s worst version of a gender reveal, well, “Abigail” at least has that.

The hook of Nic Cage in a Walking Dead wasteland is just a lure to pin people into a stripped-down drama about two brothers reconciling their differences.

“Infested” will probably be more commonly classified as a “creature feature,” though I’d say it’s more of an interesting twist on the “siege thriller” formula.

Those who wait it out should agree “Immaculate’s” fat-free 80 minutes hits the Goldilocks sweet spot for a satisfying serving of twisted entertainment.

It is moderately compelling in the moment, but it has a hard time holding up to even cursory scrutiny as far as believable “found footage” concepts go.

Some slow-burn dramas favor the slow. Some favor the burn. “Stopmotion” very much belongs in the former category.

The movie builds an immersive world inside a small space capable of sucking in anyone glamoured by its witchy cinematic spell.

Known for his Tarantino tough guys, Michael Madsen is about as appropriately cast as Dr. Frankenstein as Don Knotts would have been for Don Corleone.

Leaning into its inherent silliness might have allowed “Frogman” to come up out of the B-movie basement it belongs in.

Whatever “Madame Web” was supposed to be once upon a time could only be better than the hodgepodge of hokum this dippy disaster is.

What if the overdone horror trope of a child’s imaginary friend turning out to be an evil entity was needlessly stretched into a 100-minute feature?

Everything comes down to whether you can become enmeshed in the minor mystery and how much of an effect the moderately macabre mood has on you.

As much as I wanted to see "Lisa Frankenstein” slam it out of the park, the movie only taps a squibber through the infield on this swing.

“The Woman” chews on challenging commentary about toxic masculinity and antiquated gender roles through a story that’s bitter, tense, and brutal.

The thin narrative is nothing more than a setup for slaughter as “Offspring” becomes a canvas for creating a nihilistic horror show of savage brutality.

It’s funny that the original poster proclaims “Only in Theaters” when everything about “I.S.S.” screams “straight-to-streaming” from the get-go.

It’s not a meal on its own. It’s a low-calorie dessert topping for diehards who have already feasted plentifully on Dario Argento’s filmography.

Sometimes, dead is better. And sometimes, mediocrity is fine, so viewers might want to adjust their anticipation accordingly.

I hope the horror trivia hosts don’t ever test my memory of this mid movie, otherwise I’ll be turning in a blank piece of paper.