It’s a gift that keeps on giving, except that gift is a six-pack of socks or repurposed fruitcake, not quite the sleek and trendy PS5 you were hoping for.

Try picturing cigarette burns, a slight sepia patina, and dirty scratches clawing at the screen. Suddenly “Revenge Ride” becomes intoxicating in a bizarro cult classic kind of way.

If Netflix knew a proper way to promote, you’d have already watched “Vampires vs. the Bronx” and come to the conclusion it’s the year’s most fun fright film.

A snoozer story centered on unbelievably bland boys and girls sentenced “The New Mutants” to death long before distribution delays did.

“The Nights Before Christmas” still looks like adults playing make-believe, but at least it puts up an effort to appear like the scope is realistic.

“It Cuts Deep” puts me in a bit of a critic’s pickle. Maybe not a full-size pickle. Maybe more of a cornichon.

Because it is actually about something socially relevant, “His House’s” sincerity notches it at a significant cut above similar stories in the same space.

Even with a belly full of Skittles, suckers, and plenty of pumpkin ale, I couldn’t get enough of a boozy buzz or sugar high to find the fun I expected from “Happy Halloween, Scooby-Doo.”

Anything above that would be unexpected gravy, although “Come Play” settles for a straightforward side dish of unseasoned mashed potatoes.

Built to be a breezy B-movie made for a boozy Friday night, “Triggered” ends up being about as plain as every other “Saw” clone already out there.

“Spell” sort of says, “forget it” and pivots onto new property where it just builds with plain suspense instead of employing anything related to subtext.

The film feels like someone mistakenly made a movie out of an old practice script written in a ‘Basic Horror Screenwriting’ seminar.

Give me five minutes to explain why it’s a movie worth appreciating, even if you find its amateur aesthetics too unappealing to become immersed in the film’s fantasy.

Instead of artfully blocking for its ‘one take’ gimmick, the camera plainly follows people around, like the operator simply pressed record and went at it without a rehearsal.

The only thing being harvested here is more DIY drivel no different from any other horrible piece of Amityville hooey.

Those who stick around for a charismatic cast working their way through everyday conflicts will be better positioned to feel the introspective bite of “The Wolf of Snow Hollow.”

If only someone had a pregnancy scare too, “Nocturne” would be a complete season of “Degrassi” squished into one feature-length Halloween special.

The characters in this film talk on their phones more frequently in 90 minutes than I’ve talked on the phone in the last 90 months.

Caroline Williams absolutely brings it to “Ten Minutes to Midnight,” tapping every drop of talent in her tank to portray an emotionally interesting character who can be virulent as well as vulnerable.

“From the nightmares of Clive Barker” comes… stories that were written by Adam Simon and Brannon Braga? Uh yeah, that’s not what I wanted out of a “Books of Blood” adaptation either.