Here is a film critic quote that is 100% unaffiliated with the production, 100% honest, and 100% accurate: “The Hospital” is terrible.

... the movie is at best a decent enough 80 minutes of action only for those who just need bursting bullet squibs and stuntmen flying into things to be entertained.

“Scorned” is an entertainingly trashy mix of soapy Lifetime drama and sleazy Cinemax sexiness in service of a guilty pleasure revenge thriller with B-movie appeal.

“Heretic” starts with a veneer of being a smarter than average thriller until a snail’s sprint to an uninspired final revelation solidifies the film as fairly routine horror fare.

“Haunting of the Innocent” is a movie with unique ideas for a thriller centered on Norse mythology that buries itself under slow mounting exposition with a shovel of mismatched framing devices.

“Grand Piano” is the type of impossibly preposterous thriller setup that can only exist in the movies, but then, that is exactly the type of story that movies are meant for telling.

It is a slow story with unpolished edges in its delivery, but “The Invoking” is far from being a phoned-in effort from filmmaking newcomers putting their hearts into a film that costs less to make than it does to buy a pre-owned Toyota.

... this is one of those movies where once it drops out of the New Release section of VOD streaming and DVD listings, it may as well disappear from planet Earth entirely.

If “Spinal Tap” is the Titanic striking a comedy iceberg in a thunderous crash, “Incident” brings that iceberg on board to melt at a steady pace.  It takes more effort to notice the rising water, but passengers end up wet all the same.

The only thing disregarded more than the material being ripped off is the willingness of an audience to sit through a movie too lazy to stay on the line even when it is just phoning it in.

There might be just enough edge in the soap opera styling to make it mildly worthwhile as a period police procedural with a tawdry courthouse conclusion.

Completing the quadfecta of insulting homage is a climax so brazen that the film ends on an impression that everything offered is a patchwork quilt stitched from other people’s ideas.

... filmmakers Aharon Keshales and Navot Papushado slide so much casual intensity into such simple concepts that their film transcends the tropes and transforms into a wickedly stylish thriller.

Irredeemable as art and as entertainment, “The Ganzfeld Haunting” is an insultingly disastrous way to spend an hour and a half, and a dangerous way to dumb down one’s own senses.

“Flowers in the Attic” is overacted, on the nose, and at times eye-rollingly indescribable.  And yet ... I find myself ashamedly eager to bite Lifetime’s next ham and cheese sandwich in wonderment over what happens next in this absurdly intriguing saga.

“Quarantine” mirrors the story and format of [REC] while injecting its own moments of well-executed “found footage” horror, but it falls short of duplicating the same overall level of exceptional appeal that [REC] achieved.

The fact that it does “found footage” so well is just one more jewel in a crown that [REC] wears proudly as a truly great horror film no matter what format.

Those looking for Sasquatch suspense will leave feeling cheated and those onboard with the switcharoo will have their attention spans depleted to zero before the climax can pay off.

“Dead of the Nite” does have an honest attempt on display of trying to liven up the tired haunted house investigation formula, yet its experiment of dabbling in multiple formats never fully succeeds in creating an enveloping experience.

It is not true that if you’ve seen one zombie movie, you’ve seen them all.  But if you have seen one zombie movie, then you have seen “The Last Days on Mars.”