As opposed to disturbing, uncomfortable, or hypnotic, the mood of “7E” is best described as uncertain, confusing, and outright uninteresting.
TRAIL OF BLOOD (2011)
“Trail of Blood” is a case of some eye-rolling individual moments and unconvincing miscellany adding up to a whole that is average, yet far from noteworthy.
THE BUCKS COUNTY MASSACRE (2010)
“Bucks County Massacre” is an exercise in extraneous exposition meandering so long that it misses the turnoff to exit its never-ending first act.
THE UNDERNEATH (2013)
Making a movie about two people trapped underground without the ability to portray a realistic cavern equals dead on arrival atmosphere ... The blunt truth is that “The Underneath” should never have even tried.
100 GHOST STREET: THE RETURN OF RICHARD SPECK (2012)
In whatever Bizarro world where someone is forced to choose one “found footage” Asylum film based on a dead serial killer under threat of a firing squad, the correct decision is to light a cigarette and wear a blindfold.
OPEN GRAVE (2013)
Overlooking such exposed warts enables an improved view of the entertaining epidermis underneath, even if digesting the entirety of “Open Grave” leaves a hunger pang of unfulfilled satisfaction.
8213: GACY HOUSE (2010)
Bear in mind, this is a “found footage” horror film from The Asylum centered on a dead pedophile serial killer wearing clown makeup. Just how “good” does anyone expect it to be?
BLACK CHRISTMAS (2006)
This update to turn “Black Christmas” into a more conventional slasher lacks the heart, soul, and uniqueness that originally made the property an enduring classic.
BLACK CHRISTMAS (1974)
In spite of regular doses of comical levity, this is a film that delivers tense terror in brutal bites with all the subtlety of a suddenly deployed airbag.
HEMORRHAGE (2012)
“Hemorrhage” is the rarest form of little-known feature from a first-time director squeezing every drop of sweat from a small group. It is actually worth seeing.
TOAD ROAD (2012)
More than anything, “Toad Road” is a dark drug addiction drama that plays better as an instructional video on how to pointlessly throw away your twenties.
ARGENTO'S DRACULA 3D (2012)
More absurd is the idea that Argento and his producers seriously believed this low level of effort was passable. And that notion is the film’s ultimate offense as well as its greatest disappointment.
DRACULA REBORN (2012)
“Dracula Reborn” ... brings along the outdated pacing and dry drama for a version of the too familiar tale that has a 21st century setting, but 19th century storytelling.
BANSHEE CHAPTER (2013)
“Banshee Chapter” ... would have been a better fit for 1998, when “The X-Files” was at its small screen peak and the film adaptation of “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” reintroduced Hunter S. Thompson as the patron saint of psychotropic counterculture.
HAZMAT (2013)
“Hazmat” takes a premise and confuses it for a full story. What passes for a plot is little more than a thin justification for 80 minutes of mediocre mayhem.
NEVER SLEEP AGAIN: THE ELM STREET LEGACY (2010)
More than an exhaustive index of how a popular horror series earned its seminal status, “Never Sleep Again” is a near perfect documentary that is endlessly fascinating on multiple levels.
ARMY OF THE DAMNED (2013)
Out of gas before the engine turns over, “Army of the Damned” takes as much time to develop as the Grand Canyon and includes holes just as deep.
ZOMBEX (2013)
Being generous, “Zombex” is a mediocre at best zombie film featuring notable genre faves as its only draw. If not for that detail alone, no one would care that “Zombex” existed.
THANATOMORPHOSE (2012)
Some may interpret various manners of symbolism aside from the obvious ones regarding female genitalia. The rest of us see empty style choices overcompensating for the lack of narrative substance.
MURDER ELEVEN (2013)
“Murder Eleven” stumbles into a state of false cleverness mixed with rote personalities, preventing it from having any chance at evolving into a focused thriller.
Maybe more eyes will notice how short the legs are on the concept of a resilient heroine unleashing whoop-ass on empty upper-class stereotypes.