“Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter” has stood the test of time for good reason ... If this is not “Friday the 13th” at its peak, it is certainly close to it.
NOTHING LEFT TO FEAR (2013)
“Nothing Left to Fear” dances around some creepy atmosphere until leaving the audience as high and as dry as drunk college kids in a graveyard expecting a visage of Lucifer to sear their eyeballs when nothing of the sort has any chance of ever being that exciting.
STATIC (2012)
With a largely wordless script even before the mute invaders arrive on the scene, “Static” spends so much time taxiing on the runway before takeoff that is difficult to fully enjoy the flight once the story is finally in the air. Even at just 75 minutes without credits, that sour taste in the mouth from the drawn out first act makes “Static” feel like a dragging experience in spite of the short running time.
CURSE OF CHUCKY (2013)
“Curse of Chucky” is a satisfying chapter in the saga of a serial killer turned child’s toy that harkens back to the heyday of modern horror with a cool sheen of contemporary polish.
BLOODY HOMECOMING (2012)
“Bloody Homecoming” gives the familiar teenage slasher formula the old college try, but it is ultimately felled by an arrow of inexperience on both sides of the camera ... The execution takes the train off the tracks with a production that will never have a reason to be remembered or revisited once it drops out of the “New Release” listings.
FRIDAY THE 13th PART III (1982)
Entrenched in its own formula, there is enough blood, enough brutality, enough comedy, and enough “Friday the 13th” to make “Part III” one of the most memorable installments, and the first real benchmark for everything that fans would come to expect from the series.
FRIDAY THE 13th PART 2 (1981)
Raised expectations and inquiring minds will come face to face with the shortcomings of the movie’s longevity ... (Yet in) realizing it for its simple intentions and as the true birth of a universally recognized symbol of horror, “Part 2” successfully accomplishes what it sets out to do, much like Jason himself.
PARANORMAL ASYLUM (2013)
What is the worse fate for Mary Mallon? To have her name be forever synonymous with a fatal disease, or to be linked with a movie “inspired by true events,” but uninspired in everything else?
FRIDAY THE 13th (1980)
Few fans would argue for it as the greatest installment in the series, although its impact on the genre is undeniable. And for that one reason alone, “Friday the 13th” will always remain a classic.
ABERRATION (2013)
After bearing witness to the dull mystery, the duller characters, and the uninspired production, it becomes clear that audiences would have been better off had “Aberration” stayed on the shelf in unreleased limbo.
SELF STORAGE (2013)
As a “Chad A. Verdi film” neither written nor directed by Chad A. Verdi, “Self Storage” is a mild improvement over “Infected,” another “Chad A. Verdi film” released in 2013 that was neither written nor directed by Mr. Verdi ... “Self Storage” is not so much bad as it is just bland and unremarkable.
THE CRYING DEAD (2011)
The insulting lack of anything substantial to offer in either the fright or the originality departments has the viewer wishing to be ghost-grabbed on the ankle, just to finally experience a thrill.
SIMON KILLER (2012)
“Simon Killer” is in actuality a stark drama about dark characters that break down people in ways involving intangible weapons and alternative methods of personal destruction. Which too often are far more effective means of accomplishing manipulative devastation.
MONSTERS WANTED (2013)
More drama exists in the creation of Asylum Haunted Scream Park than in a week’s worth of “The Young and the Restless.” And “Monsters Wanted” is there to capture it all for the record.
REWIND THIS (2013)
“Rewind This” offers intelligent perspectives not just on how VHS changed entertainment, but about how it permanently altered human behavior in truly meaningful ways.
PHOBIA (2013)
“Phobia” bears the made-for-TV aroma of a movie that would fit nicely as the lead-in to a Craigslist killer dramatization on syndicated basic cable. Not entirely a horror film per se, “Phobia” is more of a romance and psychological drama that also includes a possible vampire in its plotline.
LIZZIE (2013)
Questionable casting and careless continuity hint at a set where the filmmakers simply shrugged their shoulders while the camera rolled.
SLINK (2013)
Telling someone to “slink” away from this movie would not only be a bad pun, it would also be understating how much distance should exist between human eyeballs and “Slink.”
WITHER (2012 - Swedish)
Even if it is the redheaded stepbrother of “Evil Dead,” “Wither” should still be welcomed as part of the family and it therefore deserves at least a small place at the dining room table. Or maybe just a seat at the folding card table off to the side reserved for the less mature party guests.
AMONG FRIENDS (2012)
The successes that “Among Friends” does have can be attributed to Danielle Harris’ able directing, but the film is inherently limited by its core idea. “Among Friends” is already late to its own party anyway, as “Would You Rather” offers far more satisfying squirms when it comes to airing dirty laundry at a dinner that turns into a torture game.
Maybe more eyes will notice how short the legs are on the concept of a resilient heroine unleashing whoop-ass on empty upper-class stereotypes.