THE REEF: STALKED (2022)

Studio:     Shudder/RLJE Films
Director:    Andrew Traucki
Writer:     Andrew Traucki
Producer:  Neal Kingston, Michael Robertson, Jack Christian, Andrew Traucki
Stars:     Teressa Liane, Ann Truong, Saskia Archer, Kate Lister

Review Score:


Summary:

Still traumatized by a shocking death, two sisters and their two friends go on an oceanic diving excursion where they become hunted by a deadly shark.


Synopsis:     

Review:

It would be foolish to set “Jaws” as the standard for a shark movie to meet, much less beat. Besting Spielberg in anything associated with filmmaking is probably impossible anyway. But even a DTV shark lark made on the cheap should at least be on par with a run-of-the-mill killer animal flick that debuts on Syfy every other week, and “The Reef: Stalked” can’t even smack its thick skull on that low bar.

“The Reef: Stalked” starts with Nic, a seasoned diver who regularly enjoys underwater spear-fishing with a couple of gal pals, discovering that her sister Cath’s abusive boyfriend violently drowned Cath in a bathtub because “she wouldn’t listen.” Nine months later, Nic decides to pay tribute to Cath by joining two friends for an ocean excursion that was Cath’s dream destination. Wouldn’t you know it, younger sister Annie, who has no outdoor adventure experience of her own, surprises Nic by showing up as an unexpected tagalong.

That kick to the face you just felt was “The Reef: Stalked” giving up its entire plot only 10 minutes into the runtime. Nic remains traumatized by her inability to save one sister from a watery death, yet she’ll obviously have a shot at redemption when diving neophyte Annie no doubt ends up in H2O-based danger about an hour or so from now. It hardly takes Nostradamus to foresee exactly how the finale will play out, which immediately pancakes any potential suspense regarding who’s going to make it to end credits and who’s more likely to end up as fish food.

Along this telegraphed path, a meager morsel of melodrama develops between the two siblings over how they handled their other sister’s death. They argue about it, bring it up again for another argument later, then reconcile with an apologetic embrace after a near-fatal shark encounter. Finally, Nic overcomes her emotional suffering so she can summon the courage to confront the hungry shark and heroically save Annie. I’d normally mark that last sentence as a spoiler, except only Helen Keller couldn’t see “The Reef: Stalked’s” conclusion coming and that’s only because she’s dead.

Nic and Annie’s brief bits of bickering compose the entire extent of anything remotely in the realm of character development or personalities. The other two women on their ill-fated trip are named, and I’m pretty sure of this from what little of the movie remains in my memory, “Other Blonde” and “The One with Black Hair.” The only other depth to “The Reef: Stalked” exists in whatever pool or body of water where they shot the film.

Without an original bone in its rail-thin body, “The Reef: Stalked” resorts to stockpiling routine setups stolen from every other shark B-movie that’s followed the same stale formula. During quieter moments, someone looks around with wide eyes while trying to keep frightened panting to a minimum. A hand outstretches for something like a boat oar while music grumbles at a low octave. Suddenly, that music loudly whirls like the Tasmanian Devil as a shark attacks and a hectic flurry of panic explodes. If it’s early enough in the film, nothing notable actually happens. Then there’ll be a boring bridge to a similar sequence and we’ll do it all over again. And again. And again.

One, count ‘em, one shark-related death occurs in the movie and it’s depicted as a burgundy cloud mushrooming beneath whitewater ripples. The shark appears in a bit of B-roll here and there, but s/he is mostly represented by a whole lot of splashing and shaking to simulate attacks you never even see.

None of that adds up to a story. That’s barely enough content to constitute a movie. It’s imitation beef between two bland buns of a nothingburger flippantly fried up so cast and crew could take a trip to tropical waters and pollute the DTV stream with filmic flotsam.

With dozens of shark movies already swimming out there that have become cult classics, including “Stalked’s” 2010 predecessor “The Reef,” plus 500 knockoffs for every one of those too, audiences need a clever hook or something unique to justify putting eyes on the screen for yet another trip to a familiar whirlpool of wasted time. “The Reef: Stalked” doesn’t even try.

Review Score: 30