Studio: Screen Gems
Director: Josh Ruben
Writer: Phillip Murphy, Christopher Landon, Michael Kennedy
Producer: Greg Gilreath, Adam Hendricks, Christopher Landon
Stars: Olivia Holt, Mason Gooding, Gigi Zumbado, Michaela Watkins, Devon Sawa, Jordana Brewster, Ben Black, Yoson An
Review Score:
Summary:
A masked murderer who kills couples on Valentine’s Day targets two coworkers mistaken for being romantically involved.
Review:
In a different decade, and with a healthier budget, “Heart Eyes” might have been fronted by Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant. Or Drew Barrymore and Matthew McConaughey. That’s because despite its horror-loving heart, deep down the movie is really a rom-com, complete with meet-cute slapstick, a what-to-wear montage, and a mad dash to the airport to stop true love from flying away. While all this couple’s comedy proceeds according to Nora Ephron-approved plan, “Heart Eyes” just happens to have a masked maniac committing gruesome murders, too.
Leading lady Ally could use some of that classic Bullock or Barrymore energy. Olivia Holt looks the part of a workaholic young woman bumbling her way through bad relationships. Her wavy blonde locks, cherubic face shape, and fashionable fits present traditional prettiness. What she doesn’t provide Ally is a sprightly personality to put sympathetic substance behind superficial attractiveness.
Of course, Ally has to have a bit of a “bah, humbug” attitude toward being single. For someone who must be convinced to believe in love again, that’s to be expected, to a point. Ally unfortunately passes that point with behavior that alternates between confusingly dopey and aggressively insulting.
After badly botching an ill-advised ad campaign by basing it around the deaths of doomed lovers, which goes over like a lead zeppelin since it coincides with the Heart Eyes Killer slaughtering lovers on Valentine’s Day, Ally’s angry boss Crystal Cane (Michaela Watkins hamming it up as a larger-than-life jewelry icon) punishes Ally by pairing her with hotshot marketer Jay on a makeup project. Ally already met Jay when they bumped heads, twice, at a coffee shop earlier. Even though he’s love-at-first-sight handsome, Ally isn’t excited about her demotion to a subservient role, although her extroverted best friend Monica sees an opportunity for Ally to turn a work-related dinner into a first date with Jay.
One of Ally’s obstacles is she can’t stop obsessing over her ex-boyfriend Collin. She sighs at Instagram pics of him smiling happily with his new girlfriend, which Ally scrolls through every time she picks up her phone. Later in the movie, we get to meet Collin in person, and discover he’s an insensitive clod who was supposed to double date with friends brutally butchered earlier that day, but he didn’t want to give up his restaurant reservation, so he went to dinner anyway. Jay suspects Ally was mainly attracted to Collin’s accent, which would be in keeping with how shallow she’s portrayed as both a character and as a person who would pine for someone like this.
At her own dinner with Jay, Ally uses the verbal equivalent of an assault rifle to violently shoot holes in Jay’s idealistic views on romance as though he suggested they drown puppies in lava. Sure, there needs to be conflict for them to overcome, but Ally is already behind the 8-ball by being a disappointing project manager, a mopey sourpuss, and now she adds abrasive annoyingness on top. When you look under the hood of how she’s characterized, you wonder what she ever saw in Collin, and what Jay could possibly see in her.
Luckily, Mason Gooding makes up for some of Ally’s chilliness by giving Jay ample charisma to compensate. It helps that Jay also gets the better quips to barb back with, though it’s the way Gooding chews on his offhand remarks with knowing intonations that increase his fast-firing injections of levity. He's easier to root for than Ally, which shouldn’t be possible since he’s also a suspect for the murderous man in the Heart Eyes mask.
Horror fans who may be scratching their scalps at discovering the movie’s true DNA should be somewhat relieved to know “Heart Eyes” does what all good slashers do, and that’s deliver the goods on gory deaths and creative kills. They’re not in large supply, but they do come with stylish splatter that’s in keeping with the overall vibe of a slightly surreal world where snark is a regular part of everyday exchanges.
What’s unexpected about the subdued tone is director Josh Ruben and co-writers Christopher Landon and Michael Kennedy have previous titles under their belts that better balanced horror and humor with distinctive flair and sharper comedy. Maybe since Ruben didn’t write and Landon didn’t direct their own material, something got lost in translation, resulting in a disconnect that might have been tightened with a heavier hand on the humor portion, especially since a slim suspect list doesn’t put much meat on the mystery. “Heart Eyes” casually entertains as a fun-focused slasher, but its temperature isn’t turned up as high as it should be, or could be if it had gone all-in on being a raucous rom-com parody.
NOTE: There is a mid-credits scene.
Review Score: 60
All aspects of drama, suspense, and parody get big boosts from the pairing of Sophie Thatcher and Jack Quaid, both of whom are easily the right actors for their roles.