Philosophically sophisticated, yet fully entrenched in Saturday morning sensations tailored to adult tastes, there hasn’t been anything like “The Spine of Night” in decades.

Clips of the spinach-eating sailor appear so frequently, I’m shocked Popeye doesn’t have top billing because I’d swear he appears onscreen more than anyone else.

The way to take “Godzilla vs. Kong” is as a modernized riff on classic mutant monster movies made for date night at the drive-in.

The mix of thematic maturity with B-movie mirth creates a quirky cocktail that’s enjoyably smooth to tuned tongues, although others will find the same flavors too flat.

95% ordinary dialogue spiked with 5% of weirdness sets up a dynamite dynamic that separates “The Toll’s” suspense from typical “trapped in a forest” thrillers.

“Doors” looks like an underground film festival entry that’s too raw to even earn pity laurels as an honorable mention.

It’s odd that for all the movies I’ve unpacked over the years, I can’t quite pin down what remedy would coax “Witch Hunt” out of the sleepy bed it lies in.

By coloring its nostalgia with creepiness, the movie captures the entrancing eeriness of an actual broadcast signal intrusion in feature film form.

If expectations aren’t braced for puffball parody, they could get trampled in a stampede of superficial send-ups lightly lampooning stuck-up store clerks.

Michael Flynn helps viewers see “Stay Out of the Attic” for what it is: a mildly wild little midnighter that would have had a long home in Blockbuster’s horror aisle circa 1993.

When you see Bruce Willis in straight-to-streaming schlock, you know your money would be better spent by donating to a presidential campaign for Foghorn Leghorn.

“Son” only fills to the minimum line with the lukewarm water of thin characters who exist purely to push paltry plot points along a slow and familiar path.

When a film doesn’t connect with you, it can be useful to ask, “Is it the movie or is it me?” In the case of “Lucky,” it might be me.

“Safer at Home” can only have time capsule value as contemporary “Reefer Madness” camp about how doing ecstasy can lead to a ludicrously horrible outcome.

“Sator’s” smoke comes from the tinder of its atmospheric allure, not from the thin sticks of its highly fragile fantasy.

I watched “Paranormal Prison” because I was morbidly curious about haunted building “found footage” fluttering briefly back to life, and look what little that got me.

“Wrong Turn” isn’t a “retain the rights” rush job. It’s a well-crafted thriller with a fair number of things falling into its favor.

Regardless of whether this one tickles your particular dark fantasy fancy, Jennifer Harrington certainly knows how to cut together a crisp flick.

Who knew the tantalizing prospect of Nic Cage carving his way through homicidal pizza mascots would prove to be so disappointingly dull?

On any other day, I’d review “Fear of Rain” unfavorably for being a “morning watch” movie you’d fully forget about by the afternoon. Not today though.