How do you not fall in love with a movie whose opening logo animation features Scorpion strangling Daffy Duck while gloriously growling, “get over here!”

Full Moon thinks so little of its audience that they’ll dump sh*t on our TV screens and try to convince us it’s chocolate.

The next time a project like this comes Scout Taylor-Compton’s way, she ought to stop convincing herself she can still do them and start wondering why she keeps saying yes.

Anyone who itches at the sight of slithers beneath the skin or inside an eyeball will fully flinch at several shocking shots of bloody body horror.

While Sarah Winchester constructed her mansion according to whims, risks, and otherworldly influences, “Winchester” builds itself from a black-and-white haunted house horror blueprint.

Unverified ambition turns “Gretel and Hansel” into a film whose obsessive artfulness accentuates storytelling almost as much as it gets in the way of aesthetic appeal.

This franchise can safely sleep with the Mexican tetra fishes at this point and no one will bother looking for the body.

Vin Diesel once again gives his charcoal growl and stoic swagger to another interchangeable tough guy facing off against indistinct bad guys.

I haven’t made up my mind whether “Vivarium” is a timely “Twilight Zone” tale for a post-coronavirus climate or if it’s insultingly tone deaf given the state of the world.

Divorced from exploratory imagery paralleling Selah’s slowly unfolding epiphany, a tangible tale you can reach out and touch becomes harder to find.

The movie douses itself in chilling commentary on capitalist culture, then lights a frightening match using visceral violence that shocks and awes in equal measure.

“Hunter’s Moon” has more in common with a slow-moving yawner based around an orange grove than a horror-heavy monster movie akin to “The Howling.”

If Debbie Downer were a horror movie instead of a Saturday Night Live skit, she would be “The Grudge.”

While we can argue whether “The Boy” worked or not, at least we can agree its reveal made for a memorable moment, which is something you won’t find in “Brahms: The Boy II.”

Cuse and Lindelof’s script turns common social media sound bites into conversational quips. Here’s the thing though: “The Hunt” says all of these words without saying much of anything at all.

Just think of “Life,” “The Cloverfield Paradox,” or any other moody monster adventure that blurs together in your memory after you’ve seen too many takes on “Alien’s” template.

Can a film still be considered a character study if most of what we are studying is someone emptily staring in silence?

Only so many hours in a day and I’d willingly spend one and a half of them on disposable DTV horror I won’t even remember by this time tomorrow?

If it added any more gruesomely grim comedy, it would be about as tonally different from the first film as Adam West’s Batman is different from Christian Bale’s.

The balance of content that takes place in conversation versus confrontation is disproportionate for an animated adventure film that ought to favor visual excitement.