APEX (2021)

Studio:     RLJE Films
Director:    Edward Drake
Writer:     Corey Large, Edward Drake
Producer:  Corey Large, Sean Patrick O’Reilly
Stars:     Neal McDonough, Bruce Willis, Corey Large, Alexia Fast, Lochlyn Munro, Nels Lennarson, Megan Peta Hill, Trevor Gretzky

Review Score:

Summary:

In the near future, six wealthy elites pay for the privilege of hunting a deadly ex-cop on an island built for apex predators.

Synopsis:     

Review:

NOTE: This review was written prior to Bruce Willis publicly disclosing his aphasia diagnosis.

Over the Halloween season, my girlfriend revisited the 1992 comedy classic “Death Becomes Her.” I didn’t watch it with her, but I could hear much of the movie from another room. Listening to all of the entertainingly energetic nuttiness, I thought to myself, “Man, remember when Bruce Willis used to appear in major releases alongside huge names like Meryl Streep, and actually gave a toss about turning in a fun performance full of charisma? How come he doesn’t do cool stuff like that anymore?”

Apparently, it’s because he’d prefer to phone it in for half a day of “work” while stand-ins and stuntmen fill out most of his minutes in straight-to-Redbox B-movies. Now that I think about it, something no one involved with “Apex” ever did, “phone it in” might be too charitable of a phrase. That would require picking up a four-ounce object with one hand and using another finger to press a button, which is way more activity than Willis seems willing to do nowadays.

“Apex” is the third in a series of who-knows-how-many contractual obligations involving the same creators and producers who may or may not have some kind of connection to a company co-owned by Willis and his brother. If you’ve seen either or both of those previous productions (“Breach” and “Cosmic Sin”), first, allow me to express my deepest sympathies. But then you’re already familiar with the formula here, which is to pay Willis the bulk of a budget to film less than 10 minutes of footage, then cut that content together with some shoddy sci-fi hubbub, generic gunfire, and macho men playing weekend warrior on closet-sized sets left over from “Babylon 5.”

These movies also always have a second name for the top of the box. “Breach” (review here) had Thomas Jane. “Cosmic Sin” (review here) had Frank Grillo. “Apex” has Neal McDonough. I have to wonder if these other actors knew that Willis skipped the stage where a star slowly slips out of the spotlight, and just went full Bela Lugosi in “Bride of the Monster,” agreeing to do the bare minimum for any hunk of junk as long as they coughed up the cash for his day rate. Like, did someone contact McDonough about this project and he thought, “Oh cool, I’m gonna be in a Bruce Willis movie!” Then he showed up at a low-rent location serving Fyre Festival cheese sandwiches for lunch, saw that there were more executive producers than crewmembers, and asked with a confused furrow on his brow, “What the f*ck is this? Can I borrow the phone Willis is using to call in his performance? I need to fire my agent.”

“Apex” is the 9,574,897th rip-off of “The Most Dangerous Game.” Bruce Willis plays the prey, a deadly ex-cop nicknamed “The Mutilator,” a moniker I can only assume refers to what Willis is doing to his reputation by continuing to show up in these cellar-floor flicks.

The premise is that there are six supposedly elite a-holes, half of whom look more like Sons of Anarchy extras than billionaire powerbrokers, hunting The Mutilator across a secret island built specifically for this purpose. But because Willis barely bothers to appear in the movie touting his name above the title, these hunters end up going after each other while the blurry back of a Bruce lookalike’s bald head looks on from the bushes.

It’s not a hyperbolic exaggeration to say Willis doesn’t even act in “Apex.” He simply says his few lines with as much enthusiasm as a sleepy stoner ordering a meal at McDonald’s. On occasion, he begrudgingly alters his expression a bit, likely while thinking of a way to charge extra for the effort. He also leans against a tree, smokes a cigar, and literally picks berries. You know, exciting action star stuff.

Willis might not be able to jump off the roof of an exploding building anymore. But “Apex” uses body doubles for 90% of his scenes anyway. They couldn’t amp up the action at all? Whenever Willis fires a weapon, his character is often only seen from the neck down, so apparently pulling a trigger on camera is too much to ask of him too.

While Willis, or rather the guy who vaguely resembles him from behind, sits safely in some shrubs, he and we get to see the interchangeable idiots walk through the woods, look around trees, bicker with each other in standoff after standoff, and fire bullets at nothing in particular. “Apex” is like watching cellphone video of average H&R Block employees playing paintball as a team-building exercise, with all of the excitement you’d expect from out-of-shape accountants lightly jogging around 40 square feet of forest.

Whatever money didn’t go to Willis, which couldn’t have been much considering the shot-on-digital look of things, went toward a couple of VFX shots like an inconsequential holo-person who adds an unnecessary “near future” sheen. They should have kept a couple of bucks to clean up some scenes like the last one, where Willis is clearly staged in front of a green screen.

Incidentally, the green screen leads me to wonder what’s next for Willis. Maybe next time he’ll merely record his footage over Zoom and change up the backgrounds so he doesn’t even have to leave his house. What difference would it make anyway? Producers can plug in all the former A-listers they want. With miserable efforts like “Apex,” that letter can only sink all the way down to an F.

Review Score: 15