Studio: IFC Midnight
Director: Charles Dorfman
Writer: Charles Dorfman, Statten Roeg
Producer: Jason Newmark, Laurie Cook, Charles Dorfman
Stars: Iwan Rheon, Catalina Sandino Moreno, Tom Cullen, Ines Spiridonov, Connor Swindells, Tommy McDowell, Will Kemp
Review Score:
Summary:
Uncomfortable secrets come out at a dinner party between two couples, but the night takes an even stranger turn when masked intruders invade their home.
Review:
Over the preceding nine years, I’ve reviewed more than 1,700 feature films. Only two or three times have I watched a movie and not written a review because I just couldn’t see what there was to talk about. The last time that happened was probably 2014 or 2015, but it almost happened again with “Barbarians.”
Usually, before I even press Play, I have a guess as to where my review might start. Maybe a movie reminds me of a personal anecdote I can share, like “Studio 666” did (review here), or maybe I’ll have an idea for a tangent that addresses a broader topic like sequel fatigue, toxic fandom, or a specific director’s filmography.
Even when I don’t have an initial notion to leap off of, I’ll often find one before a film’s first act gets too far. Yet after 30 minutes of “Barbarians,” I saw myself staring at a blinking cursor on a blank page that had no notes at all. At this point I wondered, should I listen to my disinterest and turn off the movie? Should I see it through to the end and hope inspiration strikes? What if it turns out that a 1,000-word review could have been a simple 280-character tweet instead?
That last musing might be true because “Barbarians” is so basic, it’s a movie that just kind of “is.” Not great. Not terrible. Just another routine extra point splitting the uprights of mediocrity. All I can really do with it is to be equally basic, writing a review that boringly goes by the book without getting cute or creative because “Barbarians” won’t allow anything more.
The Story: It’s fine. “Barbarians” starts with some background about a magical, mysterious monument called the Gaeta Stone that resides on remote farmland where revelers hold a solstice celebration. If you’re thinking this means some Stonehenge-inspired fiction or “Halloween III” kookiness, think again. Whatever the stone supposedly symbolizes, I didn’t get it, but I’ll have more on the movie’s messy metaphors later. For now, forget about anything related to cults, folklore, or pagan practices that possibly open paranormal portals. In fact, forget I brought up the stone at all since that’s what “Barbarians” seemingly does.
“Barbarians” boils down to illustrating relationship dynamics between two couples. Adam and Eva are the first pair. He is a fledgling filmmaker who’s a bit of a coward, constantly feeling emasculated by the assertive men and women around him. She is a renowned artist who accepted an assignment to recreate the Gaeta Stone as a sculpture in the center of a posh little housing development.
Lucas and Chloe constitute the other couple. Lucas is essentially a successful Silicon Valley tech bro in the body of a British real estate entrepreneur. He built the development where Eva’s sculpture resides, but he did so by stepping on the necks of the family who owns surrounding farmland. Chloe is his pregnant girlfriend. There’s not much more to her than that.
Lucas and Adam are also friends. Sort of. Lucas picks on Adam like a baby brother, gleefully putting him in arm bars for no real reason, taunting him by semi-playfully calling him a “pussy,” and maintaining an attitude that’s passive aggressive at best and deliberately condescending at worst.
The four friends gather at Eva’s house in Lucas’ development to celebrate Adam’s birthday. As their night rolls on, Adam begins to boil over as he endures “I was just joking” insults at his expense. When Adam’s wick finally burns down to the dynamite, several secrets spill out that put everyone’s hands figuratively and literally around each other’s throats.
Their “dinner party from hell” turns into a home invasion however, when three masked men burst in at the worst possible moment. Personal grudges have to go back in the cooler while everyone contends with this new threat, assuming they can still get along well enough to survive the night together.
The Acting: It’s fine. Tom Cullen does a good job to balance Lucas between handsome charmer and alpha a-hole. It’s an easy role, and Cullen comes with a personality that plugs into the part perfectly. Iwan Rheon is of course best known as despicable worm Ramsay Bolton on “Game of Thrones,” so it’s a nice switch to see him playing a subservient “yes, dear” type for a change. He melts into that mentality too, biting his tongue and slumping his shoulders to sell a sad sack like you wouldn’t believe possible for an actor who comes with Ramsay Bolton’s baggage.
The Cinematography: It’s fine. “Barbarians” is a single location dramatic thriller with only seven actors, but it feels less confined than such setups usually do thanks to that location being large. It’s also situated in picturesque countryside, which additionally opens up the production so the camera feels free and its angles aren’t repeatedly pointed at similar sights over and over again.
The Movie’s Meaning: You’re on your own here. It’s likely that writer/director Charles Dorfman named the primary pair Adam and Eva as a biblical reference. Adam and Lucas more or less regard each other as siblings, so perhaps there’s a Cain and Abel connection in there too. For what purpose, I don’t know. It’s as muddy as the fox that appears at least four times in another recurring motif. If the dying fox only appeared in Adam’s visions, I’d say it was representative of his fear of decisive action. Except everyone else can see the fox too, so I have little idea what to make of the fact that it can seemingly transport itself Star Trek-style from one location to another.
“Barbarians” offers a textbook definition of “average.” Am I glad I saw it? I’m unsure. Probably not. I do know that if I hadn’t watched the movie, I wouldn’t have missed anything and would have gone on with my day just fine without it. And then you would have only had to read a quick tweet instead of ending up all the way down here at the bottom.
Review Score: 50
If you want to see impossible amounts of blood explode crimson colors like the world’s worst version of a gender reveal, well, “Abigail” at least has that.