It was a token of taboo entertainment, a white buffalo to be hunted down, hidden in a book bag and watched in secret at some sleepover down the line.
The tagline is “Don’t Fall Asleep,” a dull dare destined to be failed since the film’s superpower is its ability to bore audiences into unconsciousness.
It isn’t a story so much as a series of stitched together scenes featuring people fighting zombies, fleeing from zombies, or arguing over whether they should be fighting or fleeing.
Trouble is, “Totem” is straightforward to the point of being largely lethargic and entirely recycled from pedestrian tropes.
“Alone” polishes dystopian bleakness with cinematic sleekness that entertains as an adolescent fantasy far more than it falls flat as slightly flighty fiction.
“Vidar the Vampire” highlights the absurdity of how anyone can interpret, or more accurately, misinterpret the ‘Word of God’ to mean anything anyone wants.
The back half’s rudder falls off completely, leaving “Mother Krampus” to sputter and stall as it flails to fill a 90-minute film with only a 30-minute idea.
Agnes presents herself as the Sun Tzu of serial killing, dispensing philosophy while dispatching victims and tormenting captives.
If The CW ever partnered with The Asylum to produce a made-for-TV disaster flick, it would probably look a lot like “Skybound.”
An inelegant way to reductively encapsulate the sentiments above would be to simply say, “The Untamed” is “weird.”
Right away we are swept into a sci-fi Saturday night setting that packs “Outer Limits” intrigue into a “Twilight Zone” mystery.
While that would be cruelly inhumane for the animal, it would be more entertaining to watch than this movie, which is cruelly inhumane against viewers.
As a satisfying spin down a straightaway, “Curvature” keeps enough gas in its tank to be moderately enjoyable in the moment.
I found myself won over by the flick’s surprising surplus of heartfelt charm and astonishingly sharp style for a low-budget indie.
"The Babysitter” earns her rate for a full evening of satisfying work, even if you’d think twice about recommending her to friends.
For the PG-13 thriller with straightforward style that it is, “Like.Share.Follow” knows how to sharply stick to a tried-and-true plan.
This classic case of mediocre moviemaking with a TV thriller temperature puts the ‘l’ and the ‘n’ in ‘bad’ for a film more bland than outright awful.
It couldn’t be more fitting for such a wonderfully weird story to be creatively captured within such a wonderfully weird movie.
When “Creep 2” finally figures out which branch is best to follow, a blinding “aha!” bulb course corrects the film for a far sharper second half.
This gorgeously haunting presentation hopelessly defeats itself fighting an unwinnable war to find a suspenseful story worth telling.