Strap in for a feature-length episode of “Law and Order: Blade Runner Unit” whose nine-figure budget depicts the future as depressingly dull.

Instead of a rich blend of high fantasy and urban action, “Bright” uses its cursory backdrop to build a spectacularly stale setup from chained-together clichés.

By consciously choosing the most predictable path at every creative juncture, “The Dark Tower” distills a mammoth amount of mythology into a colorlessly mediocre movie.

In light of where the franchise went both before and after, “Halloween H20” doesn’t hold up as one of the stronger takes on Michael Myers’ mythology.

If you break the hypnotic spell of the undeniably amazing production design, the reality is you’re stuck staring at a simple bounty hunter police procedural.

The meta-message appears to reflect the movie’s, which is that tainting the creator’s intent by imposing a will of our own leads to an unnatural abomination.

“Prometheus” is a cool-hued marvel of stunning imagery and ideas, even though some of the latter are no more substantive than that.

I suspect “Flatliners” 2017 will book passage on a boat of “oh yeah, I forgot they remade that” indifference before sailing into a storm of complete apathy.

Despite being gripping, emptiness inside individual pieces leaves one wondering what the overall experience is worth.

It plays like a silly soap opera shot as a feature film, with all the same overwrought writing and exaggerated acting usually reserved for daytime TV.

You’re likely to skeptically wonder, as I did, “can it really be that bad?”  In a word, yes.  “The Snowman" really is that bad.

You come out wondering if you even watched a true movie or just an amateur exercise in quickly stitching together a feature from B-roll and previously used footage.

Let’s cut the quibbling over distinctions between psychological thriller, dark drama, fabulist fantasy, or whatever other words one wants to misapply to sidestep calling a fig a fig.

The only fair score that accurately reflects the film is an impartial 50/100, because it’s as likely that any given person will love it as much as they might loathe it.

Don’t expect to be bowled over by anything particularly original once “Truth or Dare” is all said and done, which was pretty much its plan all along.

“Happy Death Day” marks a maturity point for Blumhouse’s previously shortsighted takes on PG-13 horror.

If you find favor with slow burn supernatural thrillers, and have tastes tolerant of intimate productions, “The Child Remains” certainly creeps up those alleys.

"Another WolfCop" turns the tables by daring audiences to put a wet tongue on a cold flagpole of midnight movie madness.

“Once Upon a Time at Christmas” seemingly realizes it has a preposterous plot, yet never takes advantage of that fact with a style suiting its spirit.

“Kill Order” turns out to be a high energy, stunt filled, nearly nonstop action film filled almost entirely with fights and very little filler.