While the Woodbury militia storms prison walls and while Tom Savini’s biker gang lays siege to Monroeville Mall, this is how the Average Joes occupy their days during an undead apocalypse.

When it comes time to make a list of creepy children from scary films, that roster will include resurrected Gage Creed, the entire Village of the Damned, and the Japanese boy from “The Grudge.”  Nowhere on that list will be the overall-clad kid from “The Unbroken.”

For horror fans, “9 Days: Whipped, Chained, and Tortured by a Psychopath” packs as much punch as an episode of “My Little Pony.”

While “Aftershock” is not quite as catastrophic as its natural disaster namesake, viewers might be in need of humanitarian aid after trudging through a story that crumbles like the concrete walls of a Chilean nightclub during an earthquake.  A less colorful way to put it would be to say that there is as much to like in “Aftershock” as there is to dislike.

“Black Rock” is not entirely fresh, but it knows how to draw out empathy for its characters.  And with that comes the tension and the chills.

 “The Big Bad” made me cry.  Not from any emotion or drama depicted onscreen, but from the blown out and blurry cinematography that may as well have lit a match and set fire to my eyes.

There is a pair of creepy ghosts, but aside from a near drowning in a bathtub that may or may not have been a hallucination, nothing truly sinister ever takes place.

Far from living up to its title, “Nailbiter” is what a horror movie would be like if Lifetime stopped doing Meredith Baxter domestic violence dramas and dipped its toes into genre cinema.

Do not let the tagline fool you. Leatherface would have something to say about comparing “Hayride” to “Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” And he would say it with far more brutality than “Pitchfork” could ever manage.

“Mandy Lane” can be entertaining for a spell, even if it is derivative. Watch it after a “Friday the 13th” marathon however, and one is liable to grow bored very quickly.

Neither remarkable nor deplorable, “Dark Circles” is simply a mildly entertaining thriller that makes for an 87 minute diversion unlikely to be regretted, but equally unlikely to be remembered.

If you do watch “Ooga Booga” and end up hating it, who do you have to blame, really?  Charles Band and Full Moon Features for making it, or yourself for expecting something better from a film about a foot high bushman doll with a bone through its nose and a blunt in its mouth?

Pointless really is the simplest term to describe “Germ Z.” It is a lot of aimless running around and nothing about the outbreak itself sustains any interest.

“The Wicked” would be an easy thumbs up if it were retooled for a younger demographic ... But since it wants to appeal to adult audiences instead, ... the TV look, teenaged tone, and terribly tame terror make this an easy thumbs down.

“Tower Block” adds itself to this apparently burgeoning sub-genre of highrise-centric thrillers and materializes as the most suspenseful, and possibly even the best overall.

“It’s in the Blood” is a must-see for Lance Henriksen fans.  And really, shouldn’t that be just about everybody?

At its heart, and “Sightseers” definitely has one, the film is a romance. It may be a demented romance, but it is a love story before it is anything else.

Whether these theories are believable or not, “Room 237” is still a fascinating exploration of how films and art can be meticulously examined, even if there is a tinge of delusion to the motivation.

H.P. Lovecraft is not merely rolling over in his grave.  He is actively seeking a way to haunt Brett Piper and company to make sure they never again molest the author’s name.

“Jacob” has so many faults that to forgive them all on the basis of the film being a low budget indie production would be disrespectful to films that deliver so much more on a similar scale.