KRAMPUS 2: THE DEVIL RETURNS

Krampus 2 - The Devil Returns.jpg

Studio:       ITN Distribution
Director:    Jason Hull
Writer:       Jason Hull, A.J. Leslie
Producer:  A.J. Leslie, Darin Foltz
Stars:     Rich Goteri, R.A. Mihailoff, A.J. Leslie, Mike Mili, Tiffani Fest, Paul Ferm, Darin Foltz, Melantha Blackthorne, Ben Berlin

Review Score:


Summary:

Five years after his daughter’s disappearance, Detective Duffin returns to stop Krampus and Santa from abducting more children.


Synopsis:     

Review:

Pity any poor person who mistakes “Krampus 2: The Devil Returns” for a sequel to Michael Dougherty’s big-budget “Krampus” starring Adam Scott (review here).  That misleading “2” in the title no doubt counts on accidental purchases to pad profits.  And those unfortunate souls going in with expectations of entertainment have no idea what dire disappointment is in store.

Those of us aware that “Krampus 2: The Devil Returns” is actually a sequel to “Krampus: The Christmas Devil,” or worse, sat through the entirety of that low-rated DTV disaster (review here), know too well what terrible experience lies within.  In which case, we’ve only ourselves to blame for the self-inflicted punishment of willingly walking into the follow-up anyway.

For the fortunate ones unfamiliar with how amateurishly awful this particular duology is, let’s put it this way: Even if you dug a deep hole to bury your standards, you’d resurface on the other side of the planet and still not have gone far enough to accommodate these two movies.

“Krampus 2: The Devil Returns” arrives three years after “Krampus: The Christmas Devil,” and takes place five years later in the storyline, yet looks like it was shot five minutes after the first film wrapped since there is no discernible improvement in acting, technical quality, or anything at all really.  Five different cinematographers end up in the end credits, probably because the production just tapped whoever had enough battery left on his cellphone’s camera to take the baton of D.P. duties.

I have next to no desire to discuss the movie at all.  To buff up the word count to a full-length review, I’ll pull some tidbits off the internet and comment on those instead.

39 people contributed $3,537 to a crowdfunding campaign on Fanbacked.  $71,463 more and “Krampus 2” would have reached its goal.

Not sure why they needed the money because the estimated budget on IMDb is $1,200,000.  Whoever put up that unlikely amount of cash better demand receipts for where $1,199,475 of that went, because it certainly isn’t on the screen.

“Krampus 2: The Devil Returns” was nominated in nine categories, winning three awards including Best Feature and Best Director, at something called the FANtastic Horror Film Festival in San Diego.  Congratulations on your wins “Krampus 2!”  You’ve killed any shot at credibility the FANtastic Film Fest ever hoped to have!

This holiday season, I’m thankful for running out of room in my review of “Krampus: The Christmas Devil” to christen it the worst holiday horror movie I had ever seen, because this film easily earns that title.  Astoundingly, “Krampus 2: The Devil Returns” finds a way to sink even lower than its predecessor thanks to the tone deaf tastelessness of Santa Claus photographing bound children before they are flogged to death by Krampus, as well as a lazy shock “twist” involving incestual rape to tie the two films together.

The movie’s biggest middle finger is directed at the collective industry of indie film itself.  Never mind for a moment that viewers are attracted through questionable means of coattailing a Hollywood production.  “Krampus” knockoffs nevertheless have people ready to pay attention, which is a golden opportunity for awareness many struggling writers, directors, and actors would murder their mothers to have.  Yet these filmmakers squander their open avenue of access to an audience by selling themselves as couldn’t-care-less purveyors of crap growing progressively more unwatchable.

There is no convincing me that anyone involved behind the scenes put heart into making something “good,” or even “good enough.”  Performances are on par with an elementary school recital, except even less entertaining.  The Krampus creature looks like an emaciated Sweetums from “The Muppets” after being disfigured in a fire.  Nowhere is there a sincere sign of commitment.

After my wretched viewing of “Krampus: The Christmas Devil,” I didn’t expect anything good to come from watching the sequel.  In that one regard, “Krampus 2: The Devil Returns” does not disappoint.

I’ll accept any accusation that I should have known better.  Fool me once, fool me twice, and all that.  Double dipping is my fault.  Should there be a third entry in this insufferable series, may Krampus help me if I feel like making the same mistake thrice.  Until then, forget lumps of coal.  Anyone on your naughty list should be forced to watch this execrable excuse for a movie.

Review Score:  0