Studio: Paramount Pictures
Director: Rob Hedden
Writer: Rob Hedden
Producer: Randolph Cheveldave
Stars: Jensen Daggett, Scott Reeves, Barbara Bingham, Peter Mark Richman, Martin Cummins, Gordon Currie, Alex Diakun, V.C. Dupree, Saffron Henderson, Kelly Hu, Kane Hodder
Review Score:
Summary:
Jason Voorhees leaves Crystal Lake to pursue a ship of high school graduates on a celebratory cruise to New York City.
Review:
I’m publishing this review in 2023, while the “Friday the 13th” film franchise is experiencing its longest drought between entries. Currently, it has been 14 years since Platinum Dunes’ 2009 remake. The longest stretch of time prior to that was the eight years between “Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday” in 1993 and “Jason X” in 2001.
In these 14 years, the amount of rumors, rejected pitches, lawsuits, and false starts involving the franchise’s future reached a comically incalculable number. Considering that the reboot lands behind “Freddy vs. Jason” as the highest grossing chapter in the 12-film series, a follow-up to “Friday the 13th” 2009 seemed a sure bet. Despite having a completed screenplay, the would-be sequel died a death by dragged feet, paving a path for proposal after proposal that never came to fruition.
Franchise father Sean S. Cunningham twice talked about moving Crystal Lake to television, first with the coming-of-age “Crystal Lake Chronicles” in 2005 and then again ten years later when The CW passed on a different pilot. In between, there was scuttlebutt about taking “Friday the 13th” into new territory like a snow setting, old territory such as another 3-D installment, or something in between by going a “found footage” route. We even got premature announcements about directors attached to development, leaked scripts including one from Nick Antosca, and legal battles over who owns what as well as which companies still have a piece of the property’s pie.
Every time one of these news bits hit a dead end, or simply surfaced as yet another “maybe” in a long line of nothing actually happening, the response from frustrated fans remained the same. “How could it be this difficult to come up with a direction for a premise whose hook is a guy in a mask murdering teenagers?” Look at comments on horror sites discussing such stories. Overwhelming sentiment suggests that the Powers That Be should just get on with it, give us Jason being Jason and stop making the process more complicated than required.
I recount this here in ironic relation to 1989’s “Friday the 13th Part VIII” because “Jason Takes Manhattan” does exactly what some say they want now, yet audiences regard it as one of the weakest movies in the series. “Jason Takes Manhattan” has such careless continuity within itself as well as within the larger Crystal Lake mythos that truly all it cares about is setting up a slew of warm bodies for slaughter. So before jumping to any future conclusions about how story, filmic finesse, even award-caliber talent shouldn’t be prioritized when Jason Voorhees is involved, keep in mind that when “Friday the 13th” stripped down for slasher simplicity, people panned it.
Everyone understands the common complaint that the sequel’s subtitle is almost entirely a lie. Perhaps that’s where so much disappointed enmity stems from. The characters don’t make it to Manhattan until over an hour into the movie. Even then, they are actually in Vancouver, with Times Square being the only true NYC landmark playing a part in the final ten minutes.
Those are valid criticisms. The movie doesn’t fully deliver on the second half of what its title promises.
However, the film fulfills the first half of its name, which is really the more important part, just fine. Sure, stereotypical teens are underwritten, R-rating requirements rob several kills of their creativity, and Jason is implausibly gifted with bullsh*t abilities (though his magical teleporting has more to do with the film favoring cheap cuts to sudden surprise appearances than establishing an authentic power). Name a “Friday the 13th” film that doesn’t contain similarly dopey drawbacks, particularly in hindsight. “Jason Takes Manhattan” might be average at best. But, Manhattan-related grievances notwithstanding, mediocrity lands it in a fair middle ground amongst its peers as far as standard “Friday the 13th” merits are concerned.
It’s probably for the best that “Friday the 13th 8” doesn’t spend more time in New York than necessary anyway, in light of how negatively the city is portrayed when it finally features. The opening credits montage might be the most unflattering film depiction of NYC ever condensed into three minutes. The only sequence flipping a firmer middle finger in that direction comes during the climax, when a series of New Yorkers on a subway, in the street, and then casually eating in a diner treat a murderous monster’s rampage, and his targets’ cries for help, with all the concern of an inconvenient draft from an open door. Literally every person encountered becomes some sort of rapist gangbanger, drug abuser, street thug, or plain inconsiderate assh*le. Combined with a sewer featuring so many toxic waste barrels it could be a level in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles videogame, this lawless vision of Manhattan may as well exist in John Carpenter’s “Escape from New York” universe.
When a boat anchor drags an underwater power line into Jason’s sunken corpse, an electric jolt brings his body back to life. Without a map, radar, compass, operation experience, or known navigation ability, Jason boards a boat that drifts conveniently into a harbor where Lakeview High School graduates are departing for a celebratory cruise to The Big Apple. Amazingly, one of the students has a childhood trauma connected to Jason’s origin. Bringing the two of them face-to-face requires Jason to first cut down a ship full of classmates and chaperones along a course culminating in Times Square.
Logic flies fast out the film’s window. Constant questions range from inconsequential nags like, why would a student on a graduation cruise still need to turn in a Biology assignment to more problematic fiction concerns such as, how did Jason and the Final Girl confront each other as children when Jason hadn’t been a boy since 1957? Director Rob Hedden’s screenplay doesn’t care. “Jason Takes Manhattan” knows what it wants to do at its core, which is to pile up a high body count of victims whose names you’ll never need to remember.
As long as expectations align with that agenda, and not with a Broadway lights extravaganza, “Jason Takes Manhattan” stays in step with the usual “Friday the 13th” spirit. Some sloppiness can be seen when certain sets cheat their locations, though cinematography at least remains colorfully sharp. Some actors have charisma issues while others like Peter Mark Richman pinch out enough personality. Essentially, the movie sits down the middle in terms of overall quality balance.
Again, “Friday the 13th 8” is undeniably problematic in terms of plot, spotty editing, and occasionally shaky production value. Even collectively, this isn’t enough to sink the sequel as a decent late 80s fright flick. I remember the movie being dubbed “Jason Takes $5” back in the day. Yet here in a time when new “Friday the 13th” films aren’t forthcoming, this old formula feels fresher than it has in quite a long time.
Review Score: 55
If you want to see impossible amounts of blood explode crimson colors like the world’s worst version of a gender reveal, well, “Abigail” at least has that.