Studio: Screen Media
Director: Casey Tebo
Writer: Andy Greskoviak
Producer: Bruce Campbell, Warner Davis
Stars: Devon Sawa, Ivana Baquero, Ryan Lee, Stephen Peck, Michael Jai White, Bruce Campbell
Review Score:
Summary:
Toy store employees battle against a parasite that turns shoppers into mutant monsters during a big Black Friday sale.
Review:
The problem with a premise that starts with, “Rabid shoppers anxiously invade a toy store for its big holiday sale,” is that a low budget can’t convincingly pull off the setup. In “Black Friday,” patrons pound on doors and scream at employees all so they can be first to rush at paltry shelves where they hungrily grab … ordinary stuffed animals and clearly empty cardboard boxes? Suspension of disbelief is one thing when we’re talking about ancillary details. It’s another thing entirely when we’re talking about the believability of a movie’s inciting incident.
I suppose we’re expected to be forgiving since “Black Friday” is a horror-comedy, and thus shouldn’t be taken with total seriousness. The core of the story involves assorted clerks, stockroom workers, and floor managers confronting an unusual brand of midnight madness no one was prepared for. This year’s aggressive shoppers aren’t salivating over door-busting deals. They’re foaming at the mouth because they’re possessed by a parasite mutating them into monsters who cause chaos throughout the store.
Each of “Black Friday’s” characters comes equipped with a unique trait. Ken leads the charge as a blue-collar grunt whose better days are behind him. Marnie catches his eye as the smart, attractive young woman in their group. Nebbish nerd Chris can’t please anyone while confident big man Archie can be counted on to get any physical job done. Then there’s goody-two-shoes Anita, cigarette-smoking slacker Bircher, and eager-to-please newbie Emmett among other stock stereotypes.
After their introductions, who’s who never matters for most of these mokes. The majority of them either die quick deaths or else become interchangeable once the writing stops concerning itself with individuality, which happens immediately after each person’s first minute onscreen. Later, during one of the regular pauses in average action so time can be killed with poorly placed conversations, a little conflict comes from Ken’s age-inappropriate crush on Marnie as well as Chris and Ken’s confrontation over leading disappointing lives. Aside from that, personalities are pointless. When you reach end credits, you’re highly likely to forget Michael Jai White was even in the movie, never mind remembering the rest of these there-then-gone nobodies.
“Black Friday” wants these people to be distinctly endearing in some fashion, but the bare bones script has a hard time finding fun, or even interesting, places to put them. One sequence sees everyone splitting up for reasons that don’t make a whole lot of sense. Old lady Ruth stays safe in the office with Marnie. Store manager Jonathan briefly battles a creature in the bathroom with Ken. Meanwhile, Archie takes two more men on a mission to secure an open door. As fast as everyone goes a different way, they suddenly regroup on the main floor as though they never separated in the first place. This is either a clear case of putting a chunk of the cast on pause because no one knew what else to do with seven people, or else actors were on conflicting schedules that were difficult to shoot around.
“Black Friday” makes minimal efforts to add a little bit of heart, such as through Ken’s driving desire to see his two daughters again. But such afterthought side stories don’t do the trick. It seems pretty petty to give any kind of attention to a manager withholding holiday bonuses when you’re facing certain death and watching coworkers transform into bloodthirsty beasties. Though that’s arguably no dumber than taking a break to compare notes on how long everyone has worked at the store while ignoring the carnage spattering every wall around you.
It’s not all negative notes for “Black Friday.” Most of it is, but not all.
Devon Sawa rolls the film’s highest saving throw. As Ken, Sawa seems to realize he’s slumming it in the DTV trenches, especially when compared to his higher-profile projects with more cash in the coffers like “Chucky.” But he also seems to say, “F*ck it, I signed the contract so I may as well give it my all.” Sawa then goes for broke with a completely committed comedic performance whose energy puts comparatively reserved co-stars to shame (and sorry Deadites, that includes the beloved Bruce Campbell, who nonchalantly coasts on cruise control here).
Robert Kurtzman also continues climbing back up the ranks of FX elites with his best work since getting back in the makeup game. His gnarly mutants are grotesquely goopy enough to earn a coveted spot as Fangoria cover models. A massive monster also features in an unexpected ending that closes “Black Friday” on a relative high note after a mostly mediocre 75 minutes of “meh.”
Maybe I’m being Scrooge by criticizing a flighty horror-comedy for not having more substance to its setups or its humor. Yet I can’t help but look at a threadbare plot of disgruntled employees combating infected shoppers and think so much more could have been done with that theme in light of the COVID-19 pandemic and increasingly problematic retail spaces. Instead of savage satire, “Black Friday” settles for being a hollow horror-comedy that just acts slightly silly instead of actually loading up on sharp jokes and good gags.
Review Score: 55
If you want to see impossible amounts of blood explode crimson colors like the world’s worst version of a gender reveal, well, “Abigail” at least has that.