Studio: Dread Presents
Director: Scott Hansen, Desiree Connell
Writer: Scott Hansen, Desiree Connell
Producer: Digital Thunderdome
Stars: Zach Galligan, Michael Aaron Milligan, Kevin Wayne, Corey Taylor, Riley Sutton, Derek Russo, Kenneth Trujillo, Jason Thompson
Review Score:
Summary:
Radio DJs tell a series of scary stories on Halloween night.
Review:
Are you in the mood for a fun, fright-filled horror anthology themed around Halloween? Well then, you’ll probably have to rent “Tales of Halloween” or “Trick ‘r Treat” or something, because you’ll only find rocks in “Bad Candy’s” bag. It’s a low-budget woof leaning heavily on one of the words in its title, and I’m sure you can guess it’s not “Candy.”
“Bad Candy” starts strong by opening on a nifty little stop-motion sequence of a skeleton rising from a grave while classic monster movie music plays in the background. Whoops. Turns out this is only an animated company logo, and not part of the movie at all.
That mirthfully macabre tone gets reset two minutes later when a careless trucker runs over a man in the road. I hate to be the one who apparently has to tell indie filmmakers this. But you can’t film a hit-and-run with just a close-up of an actor cartoonishly bugging out his eyes followed by a cut to a bloody bumper with a Wilhelm Scream in between. If it can’t be convincing, throw the scene away. “Bad Candy” doesn’t need this insert anyway. Leaving it in simply sends an early signal that this is going to be a cheaply-shot, not-so-serious production.
The film’s first story isn’t really a story at all. There’s a boy some kids call a bully, although all we see him do is smash several pumpkins while trick-or-treating around town. Hardly an offense deserving an attack from a supernatural killer clown, but that’s what happens. The End.
I can say something nice about the second segment, and it’s definitely not kudos for being the 1,976,458th film to put “Night of the Living Dead” on someone’s TV. “Bad Candy’s” digital effects, the ones involving otherworldly lights and flying fairy trails anyway, actually look pretty good for this level of DTV filmmaking. We’re not talking Marvel blockbuster quality, of course. But someone who knows their way around halfway-decent software generated visuals more vividly detailed than expected. The digital blood on the other hand, is a far different story.
Speaking of stories, this segment doesn’t have much of one. A little girl whose magic sketchbook inexplicably brings drawings to life uses her anthropomorphic artwork to get revenge on an abusive stepfather. At least an attempt is made at creating characters with distinct traits and a bit of backstory, even if they are merely slaves to a setup for another bad guy to get his comeuppance.
The third segment follows the same well-trod road. A cranky coot spends a half-minute montage putting razor blades into candy and cupcakes for handing out to kids. The killer clown comes to his door and predictably turns the tables just as he did on the first chapter’s pint-sized villain.
“Bad Candy” stays four for four with the next segment, where a nasty drug dealer meets his violent end in a gas station bathroom. For some weird reason though, he gets killed by someone or something in a devil costume, not the killer clown who features in the rest of the film. Regardless, once again this isn’t a story. It’s just a “thing” that happens and it’s the same thing we’ve seen happen three times already.
We’re not quite at the halfway mark in “Bad Candy” at this point, yet we finally arrive at a segment that looks like it might have a plot for a change. A woman named Abbie gets dumped by her boyfriend before being called to work the graveyard shift at a morgue. After drowning her sorrows with drinks and drugs, one thing leads to another and Abbie starts having sex with a male corpse. All these bits of character development mean diddlysquat once the corpse comes to life, strangely setting off a chain reaction where more bodies rise to threateningly surround Abbie. Once again, that’s it. The lead-in is one more time-killing ruse to get to another sting where creatures kill a problematic person.
I don’t need to go on, do I? There’s still another 55 minutes of the movie to cover, and it’s all pretty much like this.
Zach Galligan of “Gremlins” fame and Slipknot’s Corey Taylor are the big “gets” for “Bad Candy,” assuming you consider them to be big gets. The film’s frame features Galligan and Taylor as two radio DJs telling these stories, except they don’t even get involved until two of the guys have already been killed. These are throwaway cameos where the actors only had to sit in chairs in a single room and probably knocked out their brief wraparound scenes in less time than it takes to boil a pot of water.
“Bad Candy” isn’t the sloppiest indie horror anthology I’ve ever seen. On the contrary, apart from a few outright ugly shots, plentiful passion exists in energetic production design. Lively sets are dressed with colorful props instead of being nondescript rooms in the director’s aunt’s friend’s house. A little more attention to technical details like consistent color timing and “Bad Candy” could hit for par on an average homespun indie course. Unfortunately for that effort, a tragically underfed script loaded with nearly nothing but redundantly empty deaths never stood a chance of plopping out anything other than a flop.
Review Score: 35
If you want to see impossible amounts of blood explode crimson colors like the world’s worst version of a gender reveal, well, “Abigail” at least has that.